


Where Lies Your Sin?

by Rin Fang



Category: Utawarerumono
Genre: Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-02-16
Updated: 2011-03-01
Packaged: 2013-08-06 20:54:46
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,889
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4869490/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1701807/Rin-Fang
Summary: Rather than spoil the Utawarerumono archive with my ramblings, I've compiled my stories here. All kinds of pairings; all genres, all characters. Warning: Contains Kunnekamun. And some character death.





	1. Memories

**Er… hey. I'm glad you've decided to read this series of short stories regarding my favorite Utawarerumono characters, which means every character except Eruruu. Sorry, Eruruu fans. Some of these stories will be more mature than others, but I'll be sure to give a warning. Anyway, enough with the trivial chatter… let the words start flowing!**

**Memories**

Who am I? Am I the tortured beggar on the outside looking in?

Am I the child abused and starved and kicked and beaten? I am.

Who am I?

Am I the unwanted baby, the hapless incident of shameless lust?

Am I the child rejected by his peers, faltering to grab hold in this twisted and horrid universe

Looking listening for the slightest call of friendship and the tiniest beacons of hope? I am.

Who am I?

Does it matter? No one thinks so. But I don't care.

My name is Meaningless, and I am Outcast.

Who am I? Am I the thin teenager, abandoned and beaten?

Was I the innocent, my blood spilling down the cold the hard the cobbled streets, the one lynched for his Differences and not stopped for? I am.

Who am I?

Am I that kid shoved away from everyone else, struggling to get a job with everyone hating me?

Am I the boy who Killed and Maimed out of anger? I am.

Who am I?

No one cares, and neither do I.

My name is Taboo, and I am Shadow.

Who am I? Am I the man who is hated and reviled but doesn't know why?

Am I the one who disobeys society but

I

Can't

See

Why?

I am.

Am I the one who never blinks if he hurts and doesn't know mortality?

Am I the one who might Love

Who loves him and loves him and loves him so much…

But he doesn't love me back? I am.

Am I the beaten, the tortured, the misunderstood? Am I the one who can't fathom the complicated depths of the World and hates and hates and hates but deep inside really cries?

I am… I am… I am… I was…

My name is Hauenkua, and I am Nothing.


	2. Where Lies Your Sin?

**Where Lies Your Sin?**

**Adapted From Utawarerumono Episode 22**

**(MATURE CONTENT. Some events that occur in the following story may not be appropriate for children under 16 years of age)**

"I know what I'm doing, Hien!" Hauenkua felt a sneer tug at the corners of his lips, despite the fact that he had led his men into a booby trap of hundreds of soldiers, shooting arrows and toppling them over. Not that he cared. What were a few deaths compared to the adrenaline rush of war? Hauenkua shook his head knowingly, although his companion couldn't see it. For the small but powerful army of Kunnekamun were all incased in the impenetrable shells of the Avu-Kamuu—massive bio-mechanical weapons that far exceeded this kindergarten game of cowboys and Indians!

Hauenkua staggered forward, and sent the massive clawed hand of his armored suit crashing down on the heads of a few soldiers. Trying to hold back a laugh, Hauenkua sent them splattering into the wall.

His right-hand man, Hien, sighed, and dragged his gigantic sword through the roof of a hut, sending it toppling to the ground. "This is stupid, Hauenkua!" he snapped, wheeling around and assisting his comrade. "We should be finding Emperor Hakuoro; not wasting our time instigating them like this!"

Hauenkua groaned. There was Hien… Hien-ing off in that absolutely irritable manner he possessed. "We're not wasting our time!" he cackled, sending up great clouds of dust as he massacred the little toys below him. "The more people we kill, the more likely Hakuoro will come out to get us!"

Hien winced. Hauenkua's disrespectful tone sent the soldiers all into more fury, and he bit his lip. "Hauenkua!" he scolded, but there was no stopping him. Once Hau was on a roll, he couldn't be caught.

"I know what I'm doing!" he repeated, far too calmly for his unstable personality.

"But…" Hien placed his hand on his shoulder, to show he was serious, but Hauenkua merely shrugged it off.

"I said I know what I'm doing!"

Which, in Hauenkua-speak, meant he didn't. It was Hauenkua's fault they were all risking life and limb like this, anyway. It was his fault for this global war—it was his fault he had led his men into a losing battle against Tusukuru, the most powerful nation on the face of the planet. And of course, Hien had no choice but to go along. As he always did.

Hauenkua laughed again, for Tusukuru's own emperor had ridden straight up to him, brandishing that silly metal fan he used as a sword. Hien watched in quiet submission as they exchanged some witty banter, and suddenly Hakuoro was off, Hauenkua hot on his trail.

"That fool!" growled Hien, stepping forward and waving his arms about. Two Avu-Kamuu pilots stopped amidst the carnage, and followed in Hauenkua's direction. It was hard to keep their loose-cannon leader on a tight leash. Hien gritted his teeth and punched his fist against the wall of a house, which of course sent it shattering. "That idiot allowed himself to be provoked! After him!"

Hien made as though to follow, but was stopped by two warrioresses, flashing swords in his general direction.

"We might be disobeying orders," a lilac-haired woman of the Evinkuruga race growled.

"…But you'll never get past us," finished the second, flicking her tail menacingly and taking a swig out of a bottle she twirled in her hand.

"Out of my way!" snarled Hien, pushing past them. The Evinkuruga wheeled around and gave a giant leap, landing on the back of his Avu-Kamuu. Hien merely bucked back, and she was thrown to the ground.

"Karura!" she cried, and her companion stopped drinking sake, rushing up to meet their opponent.

"Shakukopulu bastards!" cried a tough-looking man in his mid-forties.

"Let us handle this, Kurou," snapped the Evinkuruga, pushing him from Hien's range.

Hien cussed like a sailor; not ALL of what Hauenkua taught him was useless—and sliced an animal mount called a Woptar clean in half. Hauenkua may be foolish, but he's not stupid, Hien reminded himself, there's no way Hakuoro can beat him…

The Evinkuruga gave a battle screech, and circled once more. This time, Hien didn't hold back. He brought his sword straight down, catching her cleanly in the gut. It was a glancing scratch, but the sword was heavy and blood began to seep out of her exposed gut. The Evinkuruga bit her lip, trying her best, anything, not to scream in the face of Kunnekamun's victory.

"Touka!" screeched the cat-woman they called Karura, fighting off pilots to get to her injured friend.

"I'll be fine," grimaced Touka, halfway swinging herself into a sitting position.

The battle just stopped there. With their commander, Hauenkua, gone, it was up to Hien to give orders to the Kunnekamun Royal Military. "Touka?" Hien asked, eyes growing large. Was it really… Touka? Touka, whom he had grown up with in Evinkuruga because his grandfather would waste nothing in protecting his boy against lynch mobs? Touka, whom he had actually kissed before packing up and leaving for Kunnekamun? Yes… it was her. Violet hair, dark eyes… her face was stern, but she was still young, childlike Touka.

"Stand still!" commanded Hien at last, placing his sword on the ground. "We have no reason to raid Tusukuru!"

"But Lord Hien…" started one of his men.

"Put your swords down!"

"But Lord Hauenkua said…"

"Since when has Hauenkua given a bitch about obeying orders? Put your weapons down, now! Play friendly! We shouldn't even be here in the first place!"

The army grudgingly obeyed, and a passive sort of grey-haired man clutching a halberd gave a hand signal for the Tusukuru samurai to stop firing.

"Are you all right?" asked Hien, bending down to Touka's level. Touka jumped and rolled away from the massive armored hand.

"And of course Hien stops in the presence of a woman!" cried a pilot heartily, "my, my… Lord Hien? What are you doing?"

Hien slowly slid out of his Avu-Kamuu, put his hands up in a friendly gesture, and bent over Touka.

The Evinkuruga warrior had many a shock in her life before… giant armored suits, armies larger than countries, governments corrupt enough to kill their own people. But nothing in her street-smart book of experiences could prepare her for seeing her old childhood friend, fully grown and kneeling over her, eyebrows raised just slightly to conceal his expression. Yes, that was Hien, though. His blank face made that clear.

"It's me, Hien!" he whispered.

"I know!" answered Touka.

Everyone was watching—this was just too juicy to waste over with a little fighting. Karura, now fully tanked, sauntered up to Hien and kicked him in the gut; Hien doubled over.

"Karura!" snapped Touka.

"Hey, hey, easy!" exclaimed Karura, almost surprised. "What's with you and the… Shakukopulu?" Karura's words slurred contemptuously as she said the last word; she didn't approve of the rabbit-eared race. After all, they were the people who had killed off HER people, replacing her shining theocracy with a puppet leader… But still. This Hien kid didn't seem TOO bad—the one in the red suit who had gone chasing Emperor Hakuoro seemed much worse.

Hien shook away the pain and bore Touka on his shoulders. Touka grumbled, but was too weak to protest. "Pull back," he commanded his men. "Touka, please. I think we've lost the battle. Do you want to just… talk?"

"I can't believe you… no!"

Hien clenched his jaw. "We're talking," he said at last. "Besides, you're injured. You need help." Hien touched her gorgeous long hair, and not caring if Hauenkua came back at any second, took her behind the fort.

"I've never walked out of a battle before," she growled.

Hien shrugged, and placed her on a soft pile of hay. "How are your wounds?"

"Fine. Hien, you're a cad! You should have finished the battle! Do you know how you'll be the laughing stock of Tusukuru?"

"How could I kill my friend? Especially one that I kissed?"

Touka's gaze softened. He was right.

Hien sat down beside her, chewing a blade of hay thoughtfully. How could he act like this? Touka mused. She challenged his look; his expression was still impossible to read, but suddenly, she felt feelings of sadness radiate off of him. "I never wanted a war," he said at last. "I dunno… I just can't speak up. I really just wish… we could make up with the world and start again." Hien finished chewing and began another stem, staring blankly into the distance. "I hope your Emperor isn't dead."

A cloud covered the sun, and at once, Hien looked years older—tired. Finally, his rigid expression gave way to one that was pained, broken. "Why do we have to kill?"

Touka shuddered and touched his hand. "Just as wise as I remember you, Hien. I don't know, Hien, I really don't know." She unsheathed her fine katana, and threw it to the ground. "Hien, the art of war is not for you. But… you have so much honor. You should have been born an Evinkuruga."

Hien never smiled at her compliment; she stared into his bitterly handsome face. It was plain and serious, reflecting years of pain and loneliness etched into it. Chocolaty brown hair danced in the breeze, sweeping across his innocent aqua eyes. "Why must there be pain?" he muttered, and Touka noticed a fine line of tears trickle down his cheeks.

"Hien?"

But he was somewhere else. Hien lay back and rolled down his sleeve, holding his arm high in the air and squinting at. Touka gasped. It was covered in—fleshy, swollen scars, making dizzying tattoo patterns spiraling down the limb. "Did you know a new one appears each day?" he whispered. "One for each sin… I commit one every day. This one…" he pointed to an older one, covered in infected blisters. "… For me keeping quiet amidst the stupidity. This one… I took for Hauenkua. This one… for the blood on my hands. Sin lies within each of these scars, Touka. See my own pathetic death."

Hien got up, and placed his arm against a jagged, worn down chunk of the fort's stone wall. "And this one is for disappointing you."

The air whooshed out of Touka's lungs… there was a ripping sound… blood began spilling all over him… but what was worst of all was that he never cried out. "Hien!" she cried, pulling him away from the wall and pinning him to the hay pile. "Oh, Hien, my Hien… I've never told you this, but I've always loved you, Hien!" Touka pressed her lips against his, folding her arms around his slender waist. "Don't do this!" she cried, and kissed him again. It felt so strange… so out of place, her kissing someone who had tried to kill her only ten minutes before. Hien was the enemy… and yet, he wasn't.

"You have no sin!" she choked, and suddenly tears were spilling from her, too. Blue eyes melded into black, two pale cheeks became rosy as they nuzzled against each other. Hien threw his arms around her, and lay on top of her. This poor being, starved of affection for years, couldn't get enough of it now as he kissed her madly, running his bloodsoaked fingers through her hair. Touka panted; suddenly, she didn't care about the war. She didn't want to win. All she wanted at this very moment was Hien.

Now their kissing was frenzied; they couldn't show enough passion for one another as they rolled about, removing each others' clothing piece by piece. The skin down Hien's back still showed the horrific pattern of scars, but his body was soft and beautiful. Hien started crying even harder as they tossed about in that hay pile… this feeling they felt had clouded their judgment and taken their voices. And they were one… it didn't matter now. Their bodies were together.

Touka ignored her smarting wounds. Their blood mixed and sweat ran down their impassioned faces—Touka was Hien's and Hien was Touka's.

"I love you," they whispered in unison, and Hien rolled away from her, panting.

"Hien," she whispered as he laid her in his lap. "End this war, and you'll have no more sin."

Hien rubbed her back and smiled—a real smile. "I love you, Touka. When this war is over, be mine. I don't care about our differences… marry me, beautiful woman, stay with me."

"Yes," she replied in return, folding her hands across her stomach.

"Yes, Touka, I'll never hurt again, once I'm with you. I'll return to you soon, and I'll love you forever…"


	3. Three Years are Passing

**I softened. Since I said "all characters" in my summary, I suppose I'll just write my Eruruu-after-Utawarerumono story. And yes, "all characters" means "all characters". Look what I'm doing now:**

**Character(s): Eruruu**

**Summary: Just another take on what happens to her after Utawarerumono. Right?**

**Okay, yay! Let's get on with it!**

**Three Years Are Passing**

Sunlight had just made its way through the steamed-glass windows at the fort. Already, people were stirring over their bedrolls, rapping their fists against the wooden floors to shut up the loud pitter-patter of servants' feet. The early risers wrapped themselves in towels, and made their way down to the bath houses, clawing past each other to get ready for their morning chores. Yes, they would have to finish them up soon—today was a special day.

The honorable Karura and Touka were coming home from their travels as mercenaries for their yearly visit. There would be a celebration for them; roasted fish and poached eggs and sweet honey straight from the cone. Even their Emperor, Oboro, would come out to the capital's main square to honor the two brave fighters who had given their all in the war that ensured the freedom of all peoples.

They deserved only the best from the world power, Tusukuru. Now everyone was awake, making quite a clatter below as they rushed to get breakfast on, tend to the livestock.

Only one was moving sluggishly, a pretty young girl, around seventeen years of age, dressed in a red habit and not wearing any shoes. Tying her hair back, she looked at herself in the mirror, covered the shadows under her eyes in thick makeup, and slid open the screen door.

"Lady Eruruu!"

The girl—Eruruu—jumped slightly, trying to hold back her laughter. It was only Sakuya, with whose country had lost the war years back. Not seeing any choice, she and the few remaining people of her race, the Shakukopulu, had crawled to Tusukuru, trying to be as helpful as possible.

Sakuya looked flushed, a fire across her tunic of ocean blue. "Lady Eruruu!" she gasped, tears running down her face. "I've lost Kuuya!"

Eruruu gave a wan smile. "Oh? How could you lose her?"

Sakuya wrung her hands, desperation cracking her voice. "I was… passing through the courtyard with her, and I turned my back for one second… and suddenly she was gone!"

"Calm down, Sakuya," said Eruruu. "I'm sure she couldn't have run far."

"Oh, no! You don't understand!" Sakuya bit her lip, rabbit ears trembling. "She can run fast! Please, please, help me!"

"Sure," answered Eruruu. "Let's look for her together, but I can only do it for a little bit. I have wounds to bandage at the sickbay."

"Thank you! Thank you!" squealed Sakuya, bowing clumsily and running off to the overhanging deck. "Do you see her?" she cried after Eruruu.

Eruruu joined her, and pointed her finger at several puny lumps frolicking on the square below. "Is that her?"

Sakuya craned her neck. "Why yes, it is! LADY KUUYA, COME UP HERE!"

It was no use.

Eruruu shrugged. "Let her have her fun. I'm sure Aruruu and Kamyu will take good care of her. Why don't you take a break?"

"I can't! I'm Kuuya's guardian. I'm supposed to watch her every second…"

"I don't think Kuuya cares. Go sit down."

Sakuya nodded. "All right. So I suppose I'll see you at the feast tonight?"

"Yes. And don't worry. Kuuya will be okay."

Sakuya bowed again, tripped over her feet, and was off.

Eruruu returned to her room, grabbed the satchel on her vanity, and plodded her way down the creaky steps, where two men were conversing in the main hallway. One was a young man, possibly pushing thirty, dressed royally in samurai clothing and clutching his signature halberd. The other, gruffer and more good-natured, clapped him on the back and laughed, acknowledging Eruruu.

"Milady!" cried Kurou, smiling her over. "You just missed the Emperor."

"I've seen him plenty, thank you."

Kurou's companion, Benawi, slit his eyes slightly, looking her over from head to toe. "Eruruu?" he asked. "Are you feeling all right these days? You're usually the first one up."

"I'm fine. Has it really been three years?"

"Yes—it's been that long since Oboro became Emperor."

"Kurou." Eruruu's normally staid eyes bore into his soul. "You know what I mean."

"Oh." Kurou winced. She was referring to Hakuoro again. Hakuoro, the only man she had ever loved. Maybe not the best-looking man, but the sweetest being she had ever met. Ah, if only things had stayed the same. If not for a cruel change in events—how he turned out to be the god Witsuarnamitea, and ultimately sealed himself away for the survival of peace—they could still be together, married and with a child to put to bed each night. Eruruu in herself was not a very religious person, so she just didn't understand. Why did the children's tales of superheroes in the sky have to be true?

"Eruruu," answered Benawi. "Hakuoro himself said that one day he'd return. There is no reason to be so sad."

"Yes, but, I've been thinking. What if we've been interpreting this too simply? What if Hakuoro will come back, but many years later, in a different form, in a different life? What if he shall not return to me, but I must return to him? I'm puzzled—I haven't been able to sleep lately."

"Well, if that is true," said Kurou. "Then you still have nothing to worry about. Be happy. There's no reason to panic."

"Thank you," replied Eruruu, but in her heart, she was not sated. What of your promise, Hakuoro? she thought.

Waving to Benawi and Kurou, she crossed to the courtyard, where three young girls, a snow tiger, and a fox-like creature called a Myuukuum were making havoc of the square.

"Sister!" cried Eruruu's only sibling, Aruruu. "You're late for work!"

Mukkuru, Aruruu's pet tiger, gave a joyful purr and bounded up to Eruruu, licking her cheek and wagging his tail.

Aruruu's best friend, Kamyu, giggled, with the blonde-haired Shakukopulu, the ex-empress of Sakuya's country, Kunnekamun, joining her.

"Kitty!" she cried, yanking his tail. Mukkuru wheeled around, and rather than attacking her, gave a smile-like wiggle of the ears and pounced on her.

"There's not much work to be had, Aruruu," explained Eruruu the best she could. "Are you three having fun?"

"Uh-huh! Gatchatara ran down Kamyu's back!"

The Myuukuum looked up upon hearing his name.

"Have fun," said Eruruu, walking off. "Don't get yourselves too dirty for the feast tonight."

"Hey!" cried Kamyu, picking herself up excitedly. "Isn't that Touka and Karura coming through the gate?"

Two fine women, suntanned and rugged, dragged their swords through the gate, led by an entourage consisting of Kamyu's priestess sister, Urutorii, and twin archers named Dorii and Gura.

"Hello!" cried Karura, throwing down her tankard of sake and stumbling up to her old friends. "Remember me?"

Touka grabbed her just as she fell over. "Nice impression you're making," she scolded. The surrounding company laughed. Except for Eruruu.

"Shall we take you to the Emperor?" asked Urutorii. Dorii and Gura's ears pricked up, and they shuffled their feet excitedly.

"Maybe we should take Karura to the sick bay?" suggested Eruruu.

More laughter.

But Eruruu was being dead serious.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The night was a pleasant one. The delicious scent of baked pheasant, cooked to a mouthwatering crisp, hung in the air, mingling pleasantly with the slurred conversations of happily intoxicated tenants.

Karura, as always, was totally tanked as she demonstrated her world famous kissing technique to Urutorii, and Touka was rolling eyes with Emperor Oboro.

Eruruu was serving little bites of oranges, exhausted beyond all means. Finally the heat got to her, and she exited the fort, walking out onto the high balcony and breathing in the icy air. "I wish you were here, Hakuoro," she whispered to herself.

_I'm right here, Eruruu. I've always been with you._

What? Was she drunk? No… she hadn't taken a sip the entire night. What was this… voice? Was she going crazy?

"Hakuoro?" she asked to an empty sky. "Are you here?"

_Yes._

"Show yourself!"

_Eruruu…_

"Oh, I'm sorry…" she gulped, clasping her hands over the guard rail. "I know… my God Witsuarnamitea."

_No. Not Witsuarnamitea. Hakuoro._

"Hakuoro," whispered Eruruu, tears running down her cheeks. "How am I hearing you? It is you, is it not? Is someone playing tricks on me?"

_No tricks. Eruruu, it is time._

Eruruu gasped, turning her head to the sky, eyes streaked with pure anguish… or was it confusion?

_I am returning to you._

"Yes! Hakuoro! Show yourself! Let me hold you!"

_You will… Just, step forward. It's the only way we can be together. I know now._

Eruruu, blinded by love, pushed herself forward. "Where are you?"

_Closer. It's the only way, my Eruruu._

Eruruu did as she was told, clambering onto the rail.

_One more step… And we can be together._

"Yes! Of course!" Eruruu gave one last step…

Wait? What was she doing in the air? Where was the guard rail? Eruruu closed her eyes, but never screamed. Hakuoro was inside her vision, guiding her down, and then she was

Falling

Flipping

Arching

Bending

Flying

Crying

Landing

Bleeding

Seeing.

There was no pain… she was numb. And it was a… good sort of numb. "Lord Hakuoro," she breathed, blood splattering at the corners of her mouth. "Is this what you mean? This is how you return to me?"

"Yes."

Eruruu's eyes were filming over, but she was seeing more clearly than she had ever seen in her life. There was Hakuoro's smiling figure, mask, blue-and-yellow robes, all of him, illuminated in a gorgeous effervescent light. He seemed to be entrapped in a halo, as he outstretched his shimmering arm to her.

"You've been suffering," he said, clasping Eruruu's hand.

"Yes," she answered, standing up and collapsing in his arms. "Three years. But now you've returned. And we can be together forever."

Eruruu felt unnaturally light. Hakuoro enveloped her in his arms, and then they were flying, over the rooftops, past the courtyard and over the clouds.

Everything would be all right, she assured herself. Aruruu would do fine without her. The world would keep on turning.

And someday, Hakuoro would return to them, too.

Just like he had done for her.

Hakuoro had kept his promise.


	4. Shrimp and Neurosis

**A/N: Awww man. It's been a bit since I wrote one of these. Here, have a story about a couple of lesbian rabbits while I think of better ideas.**

"Shrimp and Neurosis"

Rin Fang

**HEY GUYS: This. Is. Femslash. If, for any reason, it is not in your best interest to see your most beloved characters portrayed as lesbians for the sheer sake of portraying them as such, you might not want to read this. This story also contains naughty language and traces of peanuts.**

**DISCLAIMER: Utawarerumono/The One Being Sung does not belong to me. If it did, it would be a lot more like… like this, I guess.**

She was excited. Giddy, more like it. That feeling of ultra-caffeinated rapture flowed throughout her veins and thrummed in the very recesses of her body, the ecstatic vitamins to boost every teenage girl's exhilarated fancy. Hell, she could even say that now that her heart was beating with silly fervor, it seemed the entire world was on a sugar high. Everything was so colorful today, so interesting! There was a bit of a hop in the humdrum shuffle of life, and that energy was manifest in the dear souls of the palace inhabitants. It was a rare happy time for them—the Emperor's birthday was nigh, and everyone was anticipating the event. Gaudy streamers were hung about the ceiling, and the floors were freshly swept.

It wasn't the beautiful décor, though, that set little miss Sakuya's core into frenzied titillations. It was the dance that would be held far into the evening for Her Majesty.

After all, he said "yes"! Admiring the man of her dreams for month after month paid off in the end—he took notice to her infatuation, and after some coaxing, was coerced into taking her to said dance. And that made her happier than her one-track mind could comprehend.

Sakuya sprinted off to tell her grandfather, who, not caring about the trivial trifles of an adolescent's love life, just sort of stared at her, as if in disbelief. She went to tell her moody brother, whose humor was further soured in that he had no date himself, who curtly told her "he would probably stand her up" and that she "had a shitty taste in men." He then left her, likely off to go sulk in the corner of some dark closet and cry himself to sleep.

Well, Sakuya deduced, they were just spoilsports, and somebody would be enthralled to hear the news. Men just didn't understand, and that was why she thus decided to spread the cheer to her only female friend in the world—the Emperor herself.

When given the verbal cue "ruler", many people often thought of a snobby patriarch and/or matriarch sitting coldly across a throne, jewels draped about them. The young king of the shadow of a nation that was Kunnekamun, Kuuya Amurumineuruka (or just Kuuya, for short, as even she admitted that her surname was far too long for even the most anal retentive of literarians), was the exact opposite. She preferred to think of herself as a normal girl rather than some stuffy monarch, and prided herself upon this. If the flaxen-haired fury said she was some average Jane, then she was, no if's, and's, or but's about it.

As Sakuya knocked and entered her bedchamber, she found her sprawled across the four-poster, stuffing her face with chocolate. Kuuya, already a tad chubby in the cheeks but filled out everywhere else was so wrapped up in her mastication that it took her a few minutes to realize she was being watched, and when she did, she was stunned.

"Ah, Sakuya!" she began in that husky voice of hers. "When did you get here?"

Sakuya gave a hasty bow, rabbit ears turning red. Although Kuuya couldn't care less, Sakuya made it a point to always address her properly, as she was just a lowly chambermaid, and the other her master.

"Oh, s-sire," she stuttered, " was I interrupting anything important?"

She was still terrible at making introductions, nonetheless.

Kuuya looked at Sakuya, then at the candy below her, then back at Sakuya again, and retorted: "No."

"Oh, that's good! I have something to tell you!"

"Really?"

Kuuya's face brightened.

"That's quite convenient, as I have something of considerable importance to ask you as well. But, you go first."

"I'm taking my crush to the dance tonight!"

As quickly as they'd risen, Kuuya's ears fell and her face turned sullen at the news. Not what Sakuya expected.

"… Oh," she managed in reply, as though disappointed about something. "So I wasn't your…?"

"I wasn't your what?"

"… Never mind. Point being, that's great, I guess. Who's the lucky bast—guy? Yeah, guy."

Ignoring Kuuya's melancholy, Sakuya's eyes lit up.

"Lord Hauenkua!"

"Lord… Hauenkua?"

Kuuya's jaw dropped an inch or two, and she gave her friend a funny look.

"I lost to… I mean, you like Lord Hauenkua?"

"I _adore _Lord Hauenkua! I find him charming, and handsome, and he has an enormous… set of ears!"

"And he's also an enormous asshat."

"Sire!"

Sakuya's brow furrowed.

"A lady of your status shouldn't use that kind of language."

"Well, it's true."

Kuuya folded her arms and put on a pouty face.

"I have to work with him, you know."

"Are you suggesting I have a bad taste in men?"

"Yes. In fact, you have a terrible taste in men. He'll probably stand you up for the free food. Say, shrimp."

Geez. It was her brother's words all over again, except coming from a different mouth.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

"Well," replied Sakuya, indignant, "what sort of man SHOULD I date?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Perhaps you should try a woman instead."

At this proposal, Sakuya's huffiness faded away and was replaced with senseless mirth. She found her words a little staggering, and unsettling, but that didn't stop her giggles from leaking out.

"Oh, sire!" she chuckled, oblivious to her friend's saddened expression. "You say the most naïve things! Women… women don't date each other!"

"They… don't?"

Kuuya's voice dropped a few volumes. She broke her gaze away from Sakuya, fiddling her thumbs and sniffling back what appeared to be the onslaught of tears.

"Why… why don't they, Sakuya?"

"Because it's not normal!"

Of course, she was lying, and she wasn't sure why she was showing her such animosity. But, well… it shouldn't be normal, should it? Sakuya scrutinized her partner, but she was wearing a poker face. It was a strange question, but Kuuya said many strange things, so she shouldn't be alarmed.

"I mean, don't you know? Girls like boys, and boys like girls! That's all there is to it! If you feel anything different, there's obviously something wrong with you!"

"Not normal? Wrong?"

Kuuya curled up into a defensive ball, swallowing her emotions, but her trembling ears were a dead giveaway to how upset she was.

Now Sakuya was a bit worried about her friend. Certainly her outburst was a tad excessive, but… Could it be that Kuuya was jealous because she wanted to go out with Lord Hauenkua, too? Was the shooting down of her thoughtless ploy to get her to date someone else just adding insult to injury? Sakuya inwardly grimaced. Maybe it was best to change the subject.

"Sire, what's wrong?"

"N-n-nothing's wrong!"

Kuuya gave an insincere, lopsided smile that quickly dissolved into oblivion.

"I'm just c-clearing my throat, is all!"

The coffee-topped chambermaid deemed it best not to push the envelope. Emperor Kuuya was not one to hold grudges, but she was known to seek quick and dirty revenge. And in this case, she might steal Lord Hauenkua away from her. Sakuya bet she could do it, too. She was beautiful, and funny, and cute, and… Sakuya stopped herself. If she thought too long about Kuuya, she might…

"Well, okay. What would you like for your birthday present? Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Do you want anything?"

Kuuya paused, and she shifted around a bit, burying her face in the bed sheets. She looked pathetic, really.

"Well, there was… something… just a little… something I wanted more than anything else in the whole world."

"Eh? Speak up; what is it?"

Kuuya muttered under her breath and shook her head with vigor.

"No, no. Don't bother… it's impossible to obtain."

Great. She probably wanted something uber expensive.

"Well, is it a jewel? I could pitch in a little to…"

"I hate jewelry!"

Sakuya froze at the Emperor's curt reply.

"I-I'm sorry. Actually, the thing I wanted was quite priceless, and, well, it really is impossible to get, as it defies all laws of nature!"

That settled it. It had to be Lord Hauenkua she wanted, and she was just hamming it up.

Sakuya ought to make herself scarce, and fast. But first, one last order of business, and that wasn't an oxymoron at all.

"Now, what was it you wanted to ask me?"

"Never mind. I forgot."

It was a blatant fib, but Sakuya simply bode her goodbyes and left.

That conversation left her with a lot on her mind. Was Kuuya actually upset about what she thought she was? Or… was she completely wrong? Thinking about the method behind Kuuya's madness left Sakuya baffled. A little uncomfortable, even. And there was also something else cloying at the bottom of her heart. It was the feeling that somehow, Hauenkua was the wrong choice, and maybe the one she wanted to dance with was… Sakuya shook off her doubts as she saw who was around the corner.

"Hello, milord Hauenkua!"

A thin figure decked in black froze, ears twitching every which-way.

"Hello, girl," he forced through clenched teeth. He had some sort of effeminate lilt to his voice, and he placed a hand to his hip, rocking it back and forth, back and forth.

Hauenkua backed up a bit as Sakuya attempted to greet him with a hug.

"Are you looking forward to tonight?"

"Tonight?"

The nobleman stared at her with some sort of stupefied deer-in-the-headlights looks.

"The Emperor's party?"

"Hmm? Oh, that."

"You're so cute when you act clueless!"

"Wha-?"

"Our engagement?"

"We're engaged?"

Hauenkua's eye (because the other was covered by his hair) widened, perhaps in fear.

"No, no, not that type of engagement… although, we might be, soon. Our social engagement."

"Ah. I guess I AM obliged to go tonight. Unfortunately. Well, begone, girl. I'm off to the infirmary."

Without as much as acknowledging her, he flicked his hair and sauntered off to do whatever he was doing.

Sakuya stood there, not liking that she was blown off, but maybe it was just Hauenkua's nature to ignore things, kind of like how he brushed away taking responsibility for his countless crimes against humanity.

Whatever.

He was obviously just toying with her, and she ought to get ready for the dance.

Sakuya, excited for the night, turned her tail and headed back to her room.

XX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

The party wasn't all that great. Idle chatter hung in the air like underwear on a moldy clothesline, and the discordant screeches and squeals of the last epoch's muzak further staled the atmosphere. A few brave souls attempted shuffling out a halfhearted meringue, but they soon fell out of step with the rhythm of the orchestra, or rather, the lack thereof.

The harpist was just sort of picking at any random string, the violinist flubbed the fifth position, and the flutist spat into the mouthpiece of what was once a dignified instrument.

As a result of her zeal to become a "normal girl", Kuuya was also a notorious cheapass who wanted to pay as little as possible for her own party. Except for the food. That was a necessity.

Sakuya stood in the middle of the room, glancing back and forth from the buffet to the huge mountain of presents on its left. She was bored, and growing worried. Hauenkua was supposed to meet her twenty minutes ago, and she hadn't seen head nor tail of him. Agitated, she ruffled her dress, grasping the box of chocolates she bought for Kuuya to her chest. She prettied herself up so much, it would be a shame to join her brother in the ranks of sullen wallflowers, huddled together like hobos against a dumpster.

And she wasn't going to let herself sink to her brother's level anytime soon.

Sakuya felt the presence of a few unwelcome glances across her back, and, to relieve anxiety, she walked over to the present mound to drop off her gift. She hoped that wasn't where Kuuya disappeared off to; Sakuya already felt bad about upsetting her, and she knew for a fact that her humble contribution was not adequate for a king.

She wasn't to get her wish.

As she threw her offering upon the pyre, she caught a glimpse of Kuuya, shaking boxes. The Emperor didn't seem interested in them. It was more likely that she was pretending to be occupied in order to avoid the taxing duty of making polite conversation with bureaucrats and the noble elite. At least they never made eye contact. A miracle, too, for how long Sakuya stared at her.

Well, it was Kuuya's fault she looked beautiful as she did! Seldom ever did Sakuya get to see her more feminine side. She wasn't exactly masculine, but she was just… Kuuya. Now she was, like, Super Kuuya.

There was a difference.

She looked gorgeous what with her golden locks curled and coifed, her curvaceous figure swathed in a silken gown, her eyes accentuated with fine makeup…

Sakuya's pulse skyrocketed, and she felt weak in the knees. All right, so maybe she felt this way around Kuuya before, and, hell, maybe she imagined kissing her sometimes, but those thoughts had nothing to do with how she actually felt about her!

Totally.

With much hesitation, Sakuya shook herself out of her stupor and backed up a few feet, only to bump into someone. Making a full three-sixty, she saw—half with relief, half with disdain—Hauenkua, snack mongering by the table.

"There you are!" exclaimed Sakuya, exasperated.

Hauenkua blinked at her stupidly, swiveling a small shrimp around and around in the cocktail sauce.

"Oh, God, it's _you_," came his sardonic reply. "That's quite a whorish dress you're wearing, girl."

"What?"

Sakuya's ears shot up.

"First you have the nerve to not pick me up for our date, and now you're calling me a WHORE?"

"I wasn't implying that. Just that you dress like one. Although, now that I think about it, maybe it would be best to just label you as 'whore' in general. Oh, and what's this about a date? When did I agree to such a thing?"

Sakuya couldn't believe it. Blubbering a bit and fighting back the strong urge to smack him, she snarled:

"T-This morning! An hour before breakfast! And how am I a whore?"

Her excessive use of punctuation marks just seethed her anger.

Hauenkua was unfazed.

"Oh, now I know why I don't remember!"

He flicked the shrimp cartilage into her hair and slurped the cocktail sauce off his fingers, creating a disgusting sound that accentuated the cloud of tension around them. At last, he relented and gave her the explanation she dreaded.

"When you bothered me this afternoon, I was on my way to the infirmary… for a hangover medication. You see, last night I got myself shitfaced drunk, and I suppose I didn't become fully sober 'til this afternoon. I must've forgotten about whatever promise I made to you as I regained my senses. Kind of like a one-night stand where you don't even remember the name of that bimbo you shtupped. Y'know? And you are a whore because you took advantage of me while I was inebriated."

"And you are a douchebag for putting it like that! How was I supposed to know?"

"You weren't."

"Well, remember or not, you still have a promise!"

"I think I'll break it."

"So you're standing me up for the shrimp."

"Yes."

Hauenkua sneered.

"Girl, I wouldn't date you if you were a millionaire. I wouldn't date you if it were your last day alive. I wouldn't date you if you wore a paper bag over your head. I wouldn't date you even if you didn't exist. So, bye-bye, now, and have a nice day."

And with another dramatic flick of his hair, he left her to stew.

Sakuya shook with blind rage. Desperately, she searched for things to beat him to a bloody pulp with, but only succeeded in letting a few tears spill down her cheeks. She bit her tongue, trying to repress her emotions, but the strangled choking in her throat and induced sobs did nothing but lure in a familiar face.

"Sakuya?"

Kuuya's concerned face poked up at her.

"Why didn't you listen to me when I told you Hauenkua was an asshat?"

"You were right!" she hicced, staggering up to her.

Kuuya offered a much too eager embrace, which Sakuya accepted.

"I was an idiot, a desperate idiot! I just followed him like a sheep!"

"Yep."

"There were so many nice guys out there to dance with, but I wasted my time and energy, and now I have no one at all!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you might still have someone, _somewhere._"

"Huh?"

"You heard what I said, didn't you?"  
"Yes, but…"

Sakuya stiffened.

There was something different to the way Kuuya stared at her. Something gentle and soft, as only a lover could manage.

"You know, I wanted to ask you to the dance this morning, but because it was impossible, I hesitated. But then I realized that although I would be bending the laws of physics, I should go through with it."

Kuuya grabbed Sakuya's hand, albeit without much elegance, and planted a kiss on it.

"Ufafwafwa…" was all she managed in reply as she connected the dots.

"You look lovely tonight."

Knees like jelly, Sakuya didn't put up much of a fight as Kuuya pressed her close, casually flicking away the tears from her cheeks and rocking her back and forth out of sync with the music.

She never had much of an ear for it, anyway.

Sakuya felt ridiculous—humiliated, even. Why in the world did she cry over boys when she had someone just as good right under her nose? Sure, that someone was another female, but… she liked Kuuya more than she wanted to admit.

There.

She said it.

Perhaps her hurtful words earlier were a result of a fear of herself, of what she felt. Although she did like boys sometimes, it was this part of her being that she repressed out of wanting to fit into society's norm.

And she'd trodden over Kuuya in her selfishness.

Hell, what right did she have to deem what was "normal"? What right did anybody? If everyone was supposed to be a unique human being, then maybe that damned "normality" mold just dampened the meaning of what a _soul_ was supposed to be.

But Sakuya didn't want to look like a hypocrite.

She could apologize to Kuuya later. For now, it was her obligation not to let her gain the upper hand.

"Sire, no! We can't dance here!"

"Eh?"

Kuuya's words were muffled from nuzzling the crook of her neck.

"We can't? Well, let's dance over there, then!"

"Milord!"

"My name is 'Kuuya'."

"We…"

For a moment, Sakuya considered giving in, being whisked away to the realization of her most inner desires, but that deep-rooted fear rose up again, and she pushed Kuuya away. It was actually more of a shove, and she tumbled backwards, taking Sakuya with her.

CRASH!  
The aneurism-inducing sound of plates shattering filled the hall, softened by the globs of food splattering everywhere.

Sakuya regained her senses. Falling onto the buffet table and upsetting the various dishes there wasn't her definition of preserving her dignity. Kuuya was a few inches away from her, looking all shocked-like, picking out globs of cake from her hair and shoveling it into her mouth. Sakuya had pumpkin on her dress, gravy in her bra, and yams in her panties.

Or were her panties in the yams?

She couldn't differentiate.

It actually felt kind of… right, but the stares she got flat out embarrassed her. The lone factor that made the situation better was that Hauenkua had been caught in the crossfire, and now he was mourning the loss of his precious shrimp, custard on head, lips trembling just so. Sakuya took the opportunity to do what she aspired to for many a paragraph now, and threw a bowl of potato salad in his face.

Unused to karma, Hauenkua gave a girlish squeal and ran off. Last she saw of him, he was begging for some of her brother's shrimp, who replied with a crisp "no", and left him to take his place amongst the wallflowers.

Sakuya basked in her triumph, only to have it snatched away when some brownnoser piped up:

"That girl attacked the Emperor!"

And the guards promptly escorted her out.

It was snowing.

Hard.

Instead of being taken to security like any normal establishment, the guards simply deposited her in the garden, with only a somewhat whorish dress to keep her warm.

Sitting down at the garden gazebo, she wrapped her arms around her legs and shivered. It would be at least an hour before anyone came for her (the after dessert booze was too important to miss out on).

Sakuya studied a rose, rimmed with frost, and reached out for it, pricking her finger on one of the thorns. Withdrawing it, she flicked off the blood, and muttered a long, carousing string of profanities that would hang over her head like a storm cloud for years to follow. Her night was ruined. Kuuya, inadvertently, had gotten her revenge from that morning.

Or… had she?

"What were you saying just now, Sakuya?"

The weight of a heavy fur coat descended upon her shoulders, and Sakuya flinched.

"Uh… nothing, sire!"

"Oh, okay."

Kuuya plopped down next to her. She was still pulling cake from her hair; she offered a handful to Sakuya, who refused.

Sakuya let out a deep sigh, wondering why Kuuya was being nice to her after all her stupid antics. Either she genuinely, selflessly cared for her, or she was just really damn dense.

The evening's hijinks suggested that there was a little truth to both.

"Why are you out here?" she asked, tone flat. "Why did you go through all the trouble to sneak out here just for me?"

Kuuya smacked some of the cake away, and shrugged.

"If you keep digging, you'll eventually hit gold!"

"Was that an innuendo, sire?"

"What?"

"Never mind. Look, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"Yes, sorry. I have been nothing but a pain to you all day, and to top it off, I got you a terrible gift!"

"Oh, I saw that. I like the box it came in."

"Please don't sugarcoat your disappointment, milord. I mean, you deserve a jewel or something."

"No, you misunderstand! You see here, Sakuya, nothing is a more thoughtful gift than a box. Boxes are probably the finest, most useful inventions ever crafted. You can put things inside them, make forts out of them, collect them… You can even put smaller boxes in the bigger ones!"

"Is this supposed to be a witty anecdote, sire, and if it is, what's the point?"

"I don't… Ah, now I remember! With jewels, you can only brag that you own one. There's nothing everlasting about them. Now, my point. Supposing you were a box, what do you think I would choose? You or the jewel?"

"So you're saying that all you wanted for your birthday was to go on a date with me?"

"Uh-huh!"

"All right… apology, part two."

Sakuya fidgeted in her seat, trying to avoid Kuuya's gaze. It was difficult, as she snaked an arm around her, but Sakuya managed to stare at her toes long enough to force out what she needed to say.

"It was wrong of me to say that your feelings weren't normal…"

"Oh, about that. I don't care anymore. I thought for a bit, and decided that being normal might not be so fun after all. I mean, it makes me more interesting to have managed something impossible! Liking other women must be the equivalent to dividing by zero!"

Sakuya got up and hung over the banister, blowing on a stray hair.

"No, master, I lied about that. The reason why I did isn't important, but there are other women like you out there. Not many, but there are. And it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, even though people will give you a lot of shit about it. And I…"

"You what? And since when do you curse?"

"Sorry. And, I… I'm one of them, I guess. Like you."

A hundred watts or so went on in Kuuya's head, and apparently the little cogs in her brain started turning, as her face lit up, and she embraced Sakuya by the waist.

"So you were lying to yourself as well!"

"Exactly."

"Well, I guess I learned something today. And, hey, I suppose I still have qualities that make me unique."

"Don't worry, sire. You're quite unique. Quite."

"You should call me 'Kuuya', you know that? If I have a name, it ought to be used."

"Fine… Kuuya."

"So, from now on, maybe we should all stop being so neurotic and be who we are."

"Agreed."

"All right, so now that I am completely myself, I feel I can now ask you to dance with more credibility."

"But there's no music."

"Does that matter?"

"No… I guess not. Well, okay. I'll dance with you."

Kuuya pulled Sakuya back up to the center of the gazebo, and wrapped her arms around her. And this time, Sakuya did the same. Kuuya began that clumsy, lead-footed waltz of hers once more, making up for her incompetence with a light peck to the cheek. And so they danced, sliding slightly in the snow—ungracefully, and terribly, but sincerely, now, without shrimp or neurosis to get in their way.


End file.
